These are not the droids you are looking for
I’ve caught a bit too much sun. I seem to have acquired an attractive red rash and so today have put the sun bathing and tumble turn training on hold. Myself and Karen decided to take a trip to a local village cake Coin. Not pronounced coin as in the money or Cohen as in Jonathan Cohen the pianist on Play Away (that topical reference will be lost on anyone under the age of 40) but Co-een. Nico also came with us. Well he’s been cooped up in the villa the last couple of days and fancied a trip out with his young funky Auntie and Uncle. They weren’t available so he came with me and Karen instead.
Before we got to Coin there was the pressing matter of trying to change a cable. Let me explain. As I told you in my previous blog, La Villa Wow is well equipped in many ways including Sky HD. Alas though the owner is not so well equipped in technological nouse. She has an HD box and an HD telly, but is connecting them via a SCART lead. I know! Crazy huh! All my co-workers are now rolling their eyes in disbelief at such a school boy error. For the record, she is not alone. A lot of people don’t realise that for HD you need to connect your TV and Sky box using an HDMI cable. Thousands of people connect the 2 devices using an analogue cable and are still convinced the picture is so much better (it’s not, it’s still in SD). Being a generous sort of a chap as well as being a bit anal about things being just so, I decided to gift her a cable. This of course had nothing to do with the fact that we wanted to the Ashes, The Open, the Tour de France, the Moto GP and the T20 cricket. No siree. I’m just being a technology fairy that’s all.
On Saturday evening we found ourselves in a Chinese Bazaar and just as we were leaving I found an HDMI lead for a mere 7 Euro. I grabbed it and left. When we got home and I excitedly opened the packaging I discovered I had picked up the wrong cable. It was an HDMI to mini HDMI cable. I didn’t even know they existed and have no idea what they are used for, but alas I now owned one. Would they refund me? Well we could always ask.
This morning the 3 musketeers headed back to the shop. The first challenge was parking. Tibu had used all his Iberian charm to get our cars upgraded from a 7 seater and a little car, to two 7 seaters. This is great until you find yourselves in the back streets of Alhurin trying to park the beast. We squeezed it into a space in an alley, off an alley off the main road and headed back to the shop.
Now another advantage of having Nico with us was that he could be our designated Spanish Speaker (see the Spanglish blog for the reason why I couldn’t fulfil this role). Saying that, I thought I may give it a bash myself. The Chinese Bazaar was run, unsurprisingly, by a Chinese lady. Result! All Chinese people can speak English can’t they? Just look at Nancy Wan (obscure Ormskirk takeaway reference there). Well it turned out that this lady was fluent in Mandarin and Spanish but not English. A problemo (as they say in these parts). Undeterred I explained by pointing, gesticulating and actually using the word “incorrecto” (hang you head in shame at that one Fenner) that this was the wrong cable. She rattled something back at me in Spanish. She may have said “that’s a shame. Here let me help you find another one” or she may have said “tough luck soft lad, you should have checked. Muppet”. She actually said neither. According the Nico she said “do you want to swap it?” Si! Si!
I then spent the next 10 minutes looking through racks of obscure cables but failed to find the one that simply connected a Sky Box to a TV. “Are you going to ask for a refund?” Nico asked. It was a nice idea but I had no idea how. I went back to the counter and just kind of looked at her really. She looked back. I continued looking. This not using words to try and explain yourself wasn’t going well. Then a very calm voice said (in Spanish) with the overtones of a Jedi master “You do not have the cable we are looking for”. Flustered by Nico’s ability to perform a Jedi mind trick she pointed to the till and said something which even left Nico-wan-Kenobi perplexed. ” I think she’s offering us a refund”. Si! Si!
We took the money and ran. Mission accomplished. Well almost. I still need to buy an HDMI cable but one thing which I have learned today is that in a couple of years’ time when he is old enough to order drinks in a bar, Nico could be a very useful ally!