Over the course of this holiday I have managed to completely destroy the Spanish language. The salami type sausage called Salchichón. will forever now be known as “Salty John”; the card game “Chinchon” has been rename “Chimmy Changa” and I have starting saying “Chinky-Chinty-Uno” which is, of course, the number 21, or 51 depending on the context of use.

But collectively we have managed the mangle the English language as well. Early in the holiday I introduced the group to the expression “a dirty hander”. Now I know it sounds exceptionally dubious, but a dirty hander is an expression for a drink straight from work. It originated from those working in manual labour who would have a quick drink before they had cleaned up from a days work resulting in dirty hand prints on the glass. See. Completely innocent. It is what the ladies I have just been working with recently would call a “Cheeky Bev-er-rarge “. However Rachel keeps calling it a “dirty handful” (© Rachel Emiline Pinedo 2018) which is just wrong diddly wrong.

We have now managed to us the prefix “dirty” to describe any pre-event activity. I am victim to the dreaded pre-meet at work (the meeting that you have before to discuss the meeting you are going to have) usually followed by a post-meeting by the lifts. You overhear all the best gossip by the lifts. Well in our world that pre-meet would be a dirty-meet and as I write this I realise that am going to have to stop the practice before I go back to work on Monday as it will end up in a tribunal.

A few days this week I have had a dirty glass of wine, that glass of wine you have before the glass of wine with your lunch. In fairness I have only been having a dirty glass when I have been writing a blog. Most of this nonsense is usually written after a glass (or two). The ones which have correct punctuation and spelling are the ones that I wrote stone cold sober. The other night myself and Karen went up to film a time lapse of the sun setting from the viewing point in the village. This clashed with Cava O’Clock, so we shared a biscuit that Karen had in her bag, so in effect a dirty nibble. And a dirty sleep is of course an afternoon nap.

The other word I have created this week is Chicanery (© Andrew Fenner 2018….although my spell checker hasn’t tried to change it which makes me wonder if it really is a new word). Its used when you come to some bends in the road i.e. “there is some chicanery ahead”. I hope to see it on this sign soon.

Anyway its Cava O’clock and some none dirty nibbles have come out so until next time amigos, adios.

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